The last few days have revealed to me that among my readers at least, Joe Biden gets a lot of respect. Sort of makes you wonder why he’s not doing better in the polls. But there are detractors, and some of them have thoughtful things to say as well.
I just heard that some members of Britain’s parliament have decided that the US government isn’t living up to its promise. They propose to partition our country into three regions based on ethnicity & skin color. They propose three classifications: white, black, and hispanic. They say that anyone who doesn’t clearly fit into any category will have to apply to become a member of one of those three categories, and a draft will be held, like in one skit from Chappelle’s Show. They say that whites will live in the north and the rockies, blacks will live in a line from Michigan down to Louisiana and Florida, and hispanics will have the southwest. All white Floridians will be required to move to New Jersey (unless they wish to apply to be black, and then they can stay if approved by the black caucus, unless they get drafted by the whites first).
The members of British parliament say that they have the votes to achieve such a resolution, and that it’s only a matter of time. They say it’s necessary to prevent violence between the races in that unstable and fledgling US democracy they created just a few short centuries ago. They cite the recent race violence in Jena, Louisiana and recent gang activity in Mauldin, SC as proof of the unstable nature of the citizens of the US. The parliamentarian’s rallying cry is that "the Americans of all races are just not ready for democracy."
Critics in parliament say that there is progress being made, and that this new partition plan should be shelved for 90 days until Washington can deliver on their promises. These critics of the partition plan cite recent convictions of members of the mob by Patrick Fitzgerald in Chicago as proof of progress for justice and the rule of law over sectarian violence.
American polls strongly indicate that they oppose such a partition plan. Also Washington declares the plan ridiculous on its face. President Bush declared, "America is a stable, unified government that is in complete control of it legal and illegal population. Just because we use vigilante minutemen to patrol our Southern border does not mean we have no respect for the law." President Bush elaborated, "Before we invaded Iraq, I sent Colin Powell to get the UN to pass a resolution that contained language that I feel allowed me to invade Iraq legally. That’s how I respect international law. And I got the US Congress to give me a resolution authorizing me to invade Iraq. That’s how I respect the US Constitution." Finally, President Bush declared, "And that’s why the USA is a strong country that shouldn’t be partitioned by Britain."
There is support for the partition plan in Washington, though. After all, why shouldn’t an outside force decide how a new democratic government should be formed? Hey, if Britain wants to pay the bills and get access to our natural resources, why shouldn’t they decide how to partition the USA? The British have an excellent history of successful nation building by partitioning. They split the Indian subcontinent into India and Pakistan, and, while there have been some wars, and now both India and Pakistan are nuclear powers, all in all, it turned out to be a complete success.
Supporters of the USA partition see it as an example of how the US should partition Iraq. They scoff at the notion that perhaps the United Nations should be the organization that debates such outside actions imposed on fledgling democracies. "That’s a bankrupt institution," they say, "that can’t even organize a plan to help Darfur." Critics counter that it was Colin Powell’s efforts with the United Nations that gave President Bush’s invasion of Iraq the semblance of legitimacy that it has. They say that Condoleezza Rice should report back to the United Nations, and that the Security Council should decide whether to recognize or reconstitute the Iraq government. With the US, as well as Russia, Britain, China and France, holding veto power on the Security Council, perhaps neither partition plan will pass there.
But the British parliament may go it alone and partition the USA. And perhaps the US Congress will go it alone and partition Iraq. Hey, at least it’s a plan.