Gaze into the sky, ye mortals, and tremble! Behold my power as I stretch forth my hand! Especially between now and 10:01 p.m. Eastern time!
You must do my bidding; you have no choice — defy me, and lose the night’s most blessed illumination!
Hear me — you must henceforth vote for either Barack Obama or John McCain in all primaries yet to come!
Oh, and McCain — you must not ask Sanford to be your veep, or future generations will curse you as they stumble in the darkness!!!!