Lobbyists are people, too (sniff!)

You’ll like this. Today, I got a release from an organization called the American League of Lobbyists, which immediately raises two questions:

  1. Why have I never before heard of this organization, which says it has existed since 1979? Maybe they should hire a new lobbyist to get the word out a little better.
  2. Is there a National League of Lobbyists? Do they ever play against each other? If so, do they cheat?

Anyway, the release, which you can read in its entirety here , said in part:

Lobbyists Are
Citizens, Too

 

Presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain have
declared

Washington

lobbyists persona non grata
as far as participation in the forthcoming campaigns. The leadership of the American League of
Lobbyists (ALL) vehemently objects to this treatment. ALL reminds the candidates that all

U.S.

citizens are guaranteed the
right to petition the government under the First Amendment to the
Constitution.

 

“As
a profession, lobbying is an easy target and a candidate automatically garners
public support with each declaration,” said Brian Pallasch, League President.

 

“What I have trouble with is the hypocritical nature of
these comments. Both candidates have
worked with lobbyists, recognize the value of their input, received legal
campaign contributions from lobbyists, and yet never hesitate to throw us to the
wolves when it behooves them to do so,” continued Pallasch…

It goes on and on like that: Whine, snivel, moan.

This is a hell of a way for any organization with "American" in its name to behave on D-Day. Suck it up, dammit! Take it like a man! Any self-respecting lobbyist I know would take the abuse, do his job, and then laugh all the way to the bank! You’re not being paid to be loved; you’re being paid to get the job done.

(But I will hand it to you for the implied threat in that third paragraph, and maybe that was the real intent of this release: "Both candidates have worked with lobbyists, recognize the value of their input, received legal campaign contributions from lobbyists…." Translation: We have stories we could tell about both of you…)

18 thoughts on “Lobbyists are people, too (sniff!)”

  1. Mike Cakora

    In popular usage the label “lobbyist” is usually pejorative, but lobbyists serve a vital function in reviewing legislation and regulations during development to alert their sponsors to provisions inimical to their interests and convey their sponsor’s concerns to the parties responsible. Their interests and effort are narrow but no less important than that of the rabble, news media, or editorial boards.
    Let me put it this way: The best investment I ever made was buying an electic monk. It was a natural transition. We had a VCR, now a TIVO, to watch the television shows that we don’t have time to watch, and we have an answering machine to handle all the calls we don’t have time to listen to, so getting an electric monk to believe all the things we don’t have time to believe in made sense. (Hint: If you get one, make sure to have a steady supply of nine-volt batteries to save the settings during power outages or you’ll really have some severe repercussions until you re-program the sucker!)
    So I belong to — have a membership in and fork over money to — organizations that will watch out for their members’ interests at the state and federal level. They do so by lobbying or paying lobbyists to loiter, read, cajole — whatever it takes — to get the ear of our elected representatives on what may be a narrow issue of concern. I thinks it’s better for all involved for me to pay a couple of bucks to do so than to have me doing the standing around, reading bills and regulations, and cajoling along with a million other folks outside the rep’s office. Besides, I expect that the organizations I belong to will hire folks with better communications skills and a more shapely figure than mine.
    Lobbying is tough work with frequent long days. I’m sure that turnover is an issue because of burnout, indictments, and the like. It’s not all roses, even for the best. Probably.
    Disclaimer: I am not now nor have I ever been employed as a lobbyist or representative of a special interest, whatever that means. While I have at times communicated on my own with elected officials, my words and actions have at all times on every occasion been judged as no more than “the ravings of a disturbed individual but not provably criminal in intent or execution” and my parole officer, my attorneys, my mom, and I have papers to prove it.

  2. p.m.

    My electric monk ran off with a nun and raised two sons, Caint and Disabel. They cash government checks to keep themselves in power, but fully believe the money is heaven-sent.
    Good parents provide good programming.

  3. Laurence Socci

    My question to you is — who the hell are you and why should anyone care? Based on your recent rantings I guess you’re some politico wannabe from Buttcrack, SC. Congratulations! When Mommy lets you out of the basement and you can finally come to DC, look me up. I’ll introduce you to the real world of politics.

  4. Twiggy

    Hey, Laurence: based on your photo from your website, it appears you’re keeping all the pork in Washington.
    What exactly do you do that isn’t coated with slime?

  5. p.m.

    Mr. Socci, if by some chance you were addressing me with your vile verbiage, be assured I’m not from Buttcrack but from Duodenum City. I write for Reader’s Digestive. My “Mommy” died in 1997, she didn’t have a basement, and had you come over to her house to eat chicken, you would have left hungry, because we would never have let someone so abrasively aggressive through the door.
    Here’s hoping they keep you in Washington permanently but keep your computer unplugged, because I really don’t want to hear from you, or of you, again.

  6. Laurence Socci

    P.M. — I wasn’t talking about you, but thanks for showing your ignorance and huge ego by thinking that I was. By the way — what is “Reader’s Digestive”? Hope you write better than you spell.

  7. Laurence Socci

    “Twiggy” — Ignorance is bliss. Perhaps you and Brad should learn what lobbyists actually do. Why don’t you and Brad stick your heads out of Buttcrack, SC once in a while and learn a few things. By the way, what kind of name is “Twiggy”? Are you just skin and bones or are you a 60s throwback?

  8. p.m.

    Well, like I didn’t wish, Mr. Socci, you came back, but you stuck your foot in your mouth when you did, so I can be happy about that. Now, if you’d just leave that foot where it is, which seems quite likely, I’ll be able to live comfortably without you.

  9. p,m,

    By the way, Mr. Socci, for someone with a supposed doctorate in law, you seem pretty thick.

  10. David

    PM, Laurence wouldn’t know either a duodenum or a play on words if they hit him in the mouth (which is a pretty large target by the way). Your sarcasm was piercing and wit was sharp…but alas sharp tools are wasted on this joker.
    He’s an inside-the-beltway vampire like most of them are, and he just can’t resist the urge to take a supercilious and condescending cheap-shot at people he doesn’t even know. Typical.
    Let him go. David

  11. Lee Muller

    How many lobbyists does The State still employ? Let’s just count the local ones from South Carolina, not the corporate ones.

  12. Doug Ross

    Exactly, Lee. How many taxpayer funded lobbyists are there at USC and Clemson? How can that be legal, ethical, or right?

  13. Laurence Socci

    Perhaps you folks down there is SC should worry a little more about Grandmas with guns that let little children shoot themselves and a little less about lobbyists!

  14. Lee Muller

    Doug,
    It is not ethical for any state agency to have lobbyists. I can name about 6 paid lobbyists The State has on their payroll, but I want to see if Brad will step up to the plate and come clean.

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