But only in a real emergency, mind you…

Thanks to Jack Kuenzie for bringing our attention to this via Twitter:

Andre Bauer, describing himself on his FB page: “The only candidate who will tell the truth when need be.” Perhaps not the best wording. 1:21 PM Jun 9th via web

And sure enough, there it is, right where Jack said. The entire blurb:

From the honks to the road side chats our people are determined to vote for the real conservative in race for governor.The only candidate to give back his paycheck.The only candidate who runs his own business.The only candidate who has experience marketing South Carolina to business leaders across the world.The only candidate who will tell the truth when need be.

He means it, too. When the chips are down and all other options have been exhausted, ol’ Andre will flat tell you some truth, and take a polygraph to prove the amazing feat.

I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes from Huck Finn, which I long ago used in a column about Bill Clinton:

So I went to studying it out. I says to myself, I reckon a body that ups and tells the truth when he is in a tight place is taking considerable many resks, though I ain’t had no experience, and can’t say for certain; but it looks so to me, anyway; and yet here’s a case where I’m blest if it don’t look to me like the truth is better and actuly SAFER than a lie. I must lay it by in my mind, and think it over some time or other, it’s so kind of strange and unregular. I never see nothing like it. Well, I says to myself at last, I’m a-going to chance it; I’ll up and tell the truth this time, though it does seem most like setting down on a kag of powder and touching it off just to see where you’ll go to.
Ol’ Huck had a finely developed moral sense, and could tell when it was time to do something as outrageous and “unregular” as tell the truth. And ol’ Andre’s making sure that we know that if and when the need arises, he can do the same.

4 thoughts on “But only in a real emergency, mind you…”

  1. Kathryn Fenner

    Polygraphs only measure your anxiety about what you are saying. Pathological liars and the delusional have no trouble “passing” them.

  2. martin

    …and that is why I do not understand why every cop I have ever known has total, complete, absolute trust in their results.

  3. Herbie

    Crazy how the Repuglicants had to resort to polygraphs. And even then one candidate would not answer a certain question.

  4. Ralph Hightower

    Probably the deciding factor in Henry McMaster besting Andre Bauer in the primary was that Henry had his groupies yelling, screaming, holding banners, and acting like idiots on the Greystone Blvd bridge over I-126 heading into Columbia.

    Everybody knows that the Greystone Blvd Bridge is Andre’s territory.

    Stupid idiots all!

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