One of my Facebook friends of the female persuasion posted the above notice today.
Ha-ha.
I responded:
OK. What’s a recipe book? And where do we keep it? Since my dinner’s in it, will I be able to find it by smell?
Ladies, never, ever think that you can manipulate us by being clever. Our sheer, unforced obtuseness, combined with the fact that evolution has developed helplessness in us to a stage you can’t even begin to fathom, will always defeat you.
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I’ve never actually sat and watched “The King of Queens,” but while surfing recently I saw a scene that was the funniest I’d seen on a sitcom in years.
The husband asked his wife where the Scotch tape was (something I confess to having asked many times, without thinking or looking first). She turned on him and lit into him with an avalanche of scorn, asking him how many years he’d lived in the house, had the tape every been anywhere but in one place, that he was a big boy and if he would try, he could find it; go ahead, YOU can do it…
Standing with the attitude of a frightened 3-year-old, his head hanging, the man very slowly and hesitantly shuffled over toward a kitchen cabinet drawer, opened it, reached in, pulled out the tape and mutely held it up for his wife to see…
“Good boy!” she cried, and turned back to what she had been doing.
He continued to stand there, looking uncertain and frightened. Eventually, without looking at him, she said warningly, “What now?”
He stammered, “the, the scissors…”
I think my dinner’s at Very’s Restaurant on Two Notch Road
http://www.verysrestaurant.com/pizza.html
My stomach knows the way…
OK, I found the scene.
I got a couple of details mixed up — he was looking for the scissors first, then the tape — but I got the essence right.
You can watch it here.
Ummmm….you aren’t being manipulated. The wife is simply stating reality. You can, of course, choose a different menu, but the reality is you are wrangling your own grub, if any. No manipulation. ‘sup to you what you eat.
One of the best comedy scenes from a sitcom, Frasier. Niles ironing his pants.
Brad: While you were at The State, you wrote a hilariously funny column about “Is That All There Is?” or something to that effect… this is what men are, there’s nothing subtly concealed inside, etc. I chuckled for days. Can you put your hands on it now?
I prefer to use charcoal instead of propane!
When I was very young, my mother introduced me to the kitchen, ironing board, washer and dryer, and the sewing kit. I fought against it with everything a normal boy would use to resist becoming a “sissy”. Once she was able to penetrate my thick skull and explain why she wanted me to learn how to survive by having the basic skills necessary to prevent myself from starving, walking around with wrinkled and dirty clothes, and how to do simple mending or hemming of my slacks, I relented reluctantly but kept my “secret” from my friends.
Boys can be hell on each other if they smell a little blood in the water and learning domestic skills was not just a drop of blood in the water when I was a young boy, it was a bucket.
Boys can be hell on each other if they smell a little blood in the water and learning domestic skills was not just a drop of blood in the water when I was a young boy, it was a bucket.
-Bart
Your peer group must have been Republicans.
Note to self: jokes about bud and aprons are not allowed.
Bud, his peer group wasn’t Republican. It was boys.
To the extent that there’s a connection, I suppose it’s related to the gender gap that has existed for a generation between the parties. Women tend to vote Democratic; men tend to vote Republican. And probably because they started out as boys.
@Brad – or due to the perpetuation of the idea that Republicans are against women…
With you on that, Bart. I did a lot of household chores, including a lot of ironing, vacuuming, washing-up, not to mention lawn-and shrubbery care. No pay for it, either. My parents were old school.
But I never did learn to sew worth anything. I’d be up a creek as a widower. Hopefully I won’t have to go through that.
@ Herb – Lawn care, topiary, automobile and boat washing, gutter cleaning and exterior painting are all acceptable chores for boys. Woodworking, small engine repair and bicycle maintenance are also acceptable. Vacuuming is only OK if performed with a Shop-Vac.
Sewing, ironing or indoor cooking are not acceptable and can lead to excessive femininity in adult life.
An exception to the sewing rule exists for auto/boat upholstry and sailmaking. An exeption to the ironing rule exists for mlitary uniforms.
There’s generally an exception to every rule.
@Herb–You Tube is your friend, as is Lifehacker.com–all those life skills like sewing a button back on are amply illustrated.
“Your peer group must have been Republicans.”…bud
This is exactly the … response I expect out of bud. No surprises here. Exactly why I pay no attention to his rantings about conservatives, moderates, or anyone who is not at the 180 degree line to the left in political matters the same way he is.
Once a……never mind…
Speaking of manipulation, a guy I once worked with gave up the secret all men apparently know about how to avoid doing anything domestic in their married life. Never refuse to do whatever it is your wife is asking you to do, he said. Just mess it up so bad she’ll never ask again.