Someone at MUSC has incorporated a part of me

I gave platelets again on Monday evening — something I do about every two weeks, so often I generally don’t mention it here any more — and today I received this note from the American Red Cross, which I think is cool:

Your donation is on its way to change lives.

Dear Donald,

Thank you for being an American Red Cross platelet donor. Your platelets may be a lifesaving gift to patients in need, including cancer and trauma patients, individuals undergoing major surgeries, patients with blood disorders and premature babies.on the way

After first ensuring local needs were met, your donation on 4/24/2017 was sent to MUSC University Hospital in Charleston, SC and Conway Medical Center in Conway, SC to help patients in need. Your donations are on their way to change lives!

Platelets have a very short life span – only 5 days! It’s critical for us to collect platelets continuously to ensure they’re available for patients when they need them. Your ongoing donations are greatly appreciated.

On behalf of the hospitals and patients we serve, thank you for being a Red Cross platelet donor!


Mary O'Neill, M.D.
Mary O’Neill, M.D.
Chief Medical Officer
American Red Cross

It would be great if I could get some of y’all to come donate as well sometime. You don’t have to do platelets — it’s pretty hardcore, taking as long as three hours from the time you arrive until you leave. (It can be done, but only if you have the Right Stuff.) But I’ve given whole blood (way less complicated) in just a few minutes.

You should try it. You’ll feel good about yourself after.

And Bryan, the doctor says there’s no better way to rectify the gross humours, and he says you’re a likely victim for a calenture, or perhaps the marthambles…

3 thoughts on “Someone at MUSC has incorporated a part of me

  1. Bryan Caskey

    I’d be happy to go give some blood, but I’ve got to schedule stuff way in advance. Kids, work, etc. Give me a two week heads up, and I’ll come give blood with ya.

    By the way, how does it feel when people call you Donald?

    1. Brad Warthen Post author

      Like they don’t listen, or look at the cover of my chart, where someone boldly wrote “Call him Brad.”

      Maybe it would make a better impression if it said, “Call me Snake.”

      I understand why it happens. They are very, very literal and specific about data, I suppose for the security of the blood supply.

      The process starts with someone questioning you in a private room (libertarians probably hate this), and with it all written in front of them, they ask you to state your full name, birthdate, address, phone number, AND gender. Yeah, really. I guess that’s in case they get somebody like Pat.

      Then you get your blood tested with finger prick (for hemoglobin level), your blood pressure and temp and pulse taken.

      And THEN you fill out the probing questionnaire — 30 or 40 like “Have you ever received money for sex?” Apparently, money is a health hazard.

      You can skip the questionnaire if you did it online before you came in, but you still have to do the rest of the stuff.

      Then, after all of that, and after you’ve stopped by the bathroom to drain the bladder before getting hooked up, and you’re lying back on the recliner thing, they look at the chart again and ask you the initial questions AGAIN — just in case you’d traded places with somebody between the interview room and the donation station.

      I say all of that just to explain why I understand that they want to call me “Donald.” Everything is very literal and very specific, and they keep looking at where “Donald” is written as my first name in various places, so they go with that…


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