There are outdoors people, and then there are normal, sane people. I won’t take sides in the matter — must preserve my journalistic detachment. But the existence of the two groups is undeniable, and may explain much of the strife in this world.
This photo from Congaree National Park was posted on Facebook by Discover South Carolina with the caption, “Name a cooler way to spend a weekend. We’ll wait.”
I look at it, and I’m all like, Damsel in distress! How did she get there? Where’s her boat? How will she ever get out of this hopeless predicament? How did she get in it to begin with? Was someone standing up in a canoe while affixing the hammock to those trees? Look at her foot! It’s dangling inches from the snake- and alligator-infested water! Help her! Help her now!
Which is, I’m guessing, not the reaction they were looking for.
And yet, there are probably people on this planet who look at that picture and see an idyll. I don’t know what’s wrong with them. As a father and grandfather of a total of seven young women and girls, I want to deliver this young woman from her plight (at least, I’m assuming that’s a young woman; she’s so far away — out of reach of help, alas! — to be sure). And to the extent that I can identify with her rather than seeing her as an object of paternal concern, I want to panic.
You realize, of course, that were this a still from a film, within a few frames something would emerge from that dark water and take her leg off at the knee, or pull her under.
Sheesh. I don’t need this stress on a Monday…